One of my friends recently committed herself to a healthier, fitter lifestyle. It started off as a very healthy change for her, but at some stage it turned into an obsession. She now spends hours a day training, documents and reviews everything she eats, yet is not training for anything specific.
Its a little bit sad really, she originally went out to give herself a better life yet now she cannot even enjoy many of its simple joys. Eating popcorn at the movies fills her with guilt. A dinner out with friends will be finished early if she has training tomorrow. She isn’t actually training for anything specific, yet her regime rules her life.
One of my other friends was the ultimate husband. Everything he did was for the benefit of his wife and home life. His reward for a hard days work was going home to her. She was the reason he went to work, she was the reason for everything he did.
One day, my friend was promoted. A worthy promotion as he really was the top performer at work, both in his own right and in the way he got the best out of all the people who reported to him. When he received this promotion, something changed. Quality of life stopped being his priority. Time with his wife stopped being his purpose. Rather, he started validating himself by furthering himself at work, by future promotions and by where he was placed on the corporate ladder.
Both of these friends of mine have become slaves to their own ideas. They have become slaves as their goals, the things they were working for, have been forgotten. Now, the work is all that is left. The work which was supposed to pave the way to an end, has become the end in its own right.
My first friend started her experience with the desire to live a healthier, fuller life. Today this desire has narrowed to a life that excludes anything not related to her training schedule. My other friend’s hunger for power and career success was so strong that it displaced his love for family as his number 1 priority. It became an end in its own right when previously it was simply a means to an end.
200 years ago, people did not do this. Life was about living, life was about family and work was about putting food on the table. The only people for whom work was the end, rather than the means, were slaves. And slavery has been outlawed. Yet today, people constantly get the means confused with the end, and then wonder why at retirement there is nothing else in their lives.
What are you working on at the moment? What are you trying to achieve by this endeavour? This is something I ask myself all the time. If you find you are working on something for the sake of the work, why are you doing it? If you are not enjoying it, what do you expect to get out of it? Is there work in your life that now has a life of its own?
If there is, have you enslaved yourself to an idea? Ask yourself this. How will you look back at the endeavour in 20 years? Will it be something which made your life better or will it be something that stifled your life, resulting in missed opportunities and time not spent with loved ones?
If you have become a slave to something, its probably because you have lost sight of the important things in your life. So take a weekend off whatever you are working on and spend it reviewing what is important to you. While doing this, make sure you separate out the things that are important to your boss, or trainer, as their goals are not yours. They have vested interests in manipulating your goals to be in line with theirs.
If you are a little unsure about whether you are getting perspective right, there is an easy way to check. The things you are doing, are they for a higher life purpose? If they are, you have perspective. If not, its possible you are still caught up in the idea of what you are doing. For example, working extra hard now can be part of a plan to achieve financial freedom and retire early. It shouldn’t be to get promoted to the next level in the corporate structure. The former is a life goal, the latter assumes another level of work is the end game, so you are working for works sake.
Once you get this right, you will have something we call perspective. You will be living your own life again. This will give you the ability to relegate work into a supporting role in your life, rather than the lead role. And from your position of vision, you will be able to see that there are better ways to achieve your life goals, rather than through your slavery of choice.
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